Hm.

Well, Oily McWar is old, like dirt, so if he is elected (shudder), his running mate might just have to be ready to actually be President. So perhaps we should examine her credentials closely.  Because we would want a vice-presidential candidate to be experienced, qualified, and not risky.

Sarah Palin, former sportscaster, former mayor of Moose Ass, AK, and two-year Governor of the 47th largest state, has an educational record which can be found here.

Summary:

Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin attended five colleges in six years before graduating from the University of Idaho in 1987…

She began college at Hawaii Pacific University, a private, nonsectarian school in Honolulu. She attended only as a freshman during the fall of 1982, school spokeswoman Crystale Lopez said.

Then known as Sarah Louise Heath, she was in the business administration program as a full-time student, Lopez said.

“We’re trying to track down someone who knew her,” Lopez added.

From Hawaii Pacific, Palin transferred to North Idaho College, a two-year school in Coeur d’Alene, about 30 miles east of Spokane. She attended the college as a general studies major for two semesters, in spring 1983 and fall 1983, spokeswoman Stacy Hudson said.

“We were not able to track down club affiliations or anything,” Hudson said.

The school identified one of her professors but he did not remember her, Hudson said.

Prior to her selection by McCain, the North Idaho College Alumni Association notified Palin in June she would be the recipient of its 2008-2009 Distinguished Alumni of the Year Award.

From North Idaho College, Palin transferred 70 miles south to the University of Idaho, the state’s flagship institution. She majored in journalism with an emphasis in broadcast news. She attended Idaho, whose mascot is the Vandals, from fall 1984 to spring 1985.

She then returned to Alaska to attend Matanuska-Susitna College in Palmer in fall 1985.

Then she returned to Idaho, for spring 1986, fall 1986 and spring 1987, when she graduated. Despite her journalism degree, she does not appear to have worked for the college newspaper or campus television station, school officials said.

Of course, one doesn’t like to engage in excessive credentialism.  But Palin’s C.V. is really, really unimpressive.  (I’m opposed to virtually everything she stands for, too.  Also, it seems like she’s pretty corrupt.  But right now we’re talking about qualifications).  Andrew Sullivan puts it better:

If she applied for an internship at National Review, they would turn her down.

I think that sums it up, don’t you?  Turn down McCain-Palin in 2008.

The truly curious thing about this speech is that it doesn’t present McCain the strong, McCain the Top Gun pilot, McCain the patriotic hero; rather, it presents McCain the victim, McCain the martyr, McCain the lying in his own feces. I assume that this is all about getting the attention of the Christian right, for whom Thompson’s speech will read like a fifth gospel.

The Gospel of St. McCain begins on October 26, 1967, high above the dense jungle of North Vietnam. It was on that day that “a surface-to-air missile slammed into John’s A-4 Skyhawk jet, blowing it out of the sky.” During the escape from the plane, McCain broke “his right leg, his right knee, his left arm and right arm in three places.”

As Thompson relates, what greeted him on the ground was even worse:

An angry mob got to him when he fell to the ground. A rifle butt broke his shoulder. A bayonet pierced his ankle and his groin. They took him to the Hanoi Hilton, where he lapsed in and out of consciousness for days. He was offered medical care for his injuries if he would give up military information in return.

John McCain said, “No”.

I’m sorry, but there is something in the description of the bayoneting of McCain’s ankle and groin — and the refusal of succor — that sounds a bit too much like the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The only difference is that while Jesus got a postmortem spear in the side, McCain got a bayonet in two places — and one of them was the crotch. Which is like one-upping the suffering of the Son of God. In short, Jesus was a pussy. And probably a community organizer.

Anyway, thank God McCain didn’t die. Just think of the theological confusion this would have created. Who would I worship then?

Thompson continued:

After days of neglect, covered in grime, lying in his own waste in a filthy room, a doctor attempted to set John’s right arm without success and without anesthesia. His other broken bones and injuries were not treated. John developed a high fever and dysentery. He weighed barely a hundred pounds. Expecting him to die, his captors placed him in a cell with two other POWs who also expected him to die.

At this point, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Nothing makes a Republican misty-eyed like the story of a man who can’t get adequate health care or one who experiences arbitrary imprisonment and senseless torture. There are 47 million citizens without health care in America. But doing anything other than praying for these people will introduce inefficiencies in the market. Jesus, CEO would be very displeased. And I have it on good authority that America would never torture. I prayed hard for that.

But Fred Thompson was just clearing his throat:

John McCain fought on. He persevered. So then they put him in solitary confinement for over two years — isolation, incredible heat beating on a tin roof, a light bulb in his cell burning 24 hours a day, boarded-up cell windows blocking any breath of fresh air, the oppressive heat causing boils the size of baseballs under his arms, the outside world limited to what he could see through a crack in the door.

For five-and-a-half years this went on. John McCain’s bones may have been broken, but his spirit never was.

We hear a lot of talk about hope these days. John McCain knows about hope. That’s all he had. [. . .]

He’d smile and give ‘em a thumbs-up.

The guards cracked ribs, broke teeth off at their gums. They cinched a rope around his arms and painfully drew back his shoulders. Over four days, every two to three hours, the beatings resumed. During one especially fierce beating, he fell, again breaking his arm.

John was beaten for communicating with other prisoners. He was beaten — beaten for NOT communicating with so-called peace delegations. He was beaten for not giving information during interrogation. [. . .]

Whenever John was returned to his cell — walking if he could, dragged if he couldn’t — as he passed his other fellow POWs, he would often call out to them.

Obama can form the word “hope” with his mouth. But it’s a mouth that hasn’t been repeatedly kicked by the boot of Charlie. And that makes all the difference. McCain has suffered more than Obama. Perhaps more than Jesus. Therefore, we can be sure that God loves him and favors him to lead our nation.

I can’t wait for Mel Gibson to buy the rights to this story.

So I had our crack team in the IHWYJS Actuary Science Division (ASD) run some stochastic models for me. The answer is surprising.

According to our data, a man at 72 years of age has a 0.032978 chance of dying within one year and a life expectancy of 12.01 years.

New bumper sticker idea:

By my count, Hillary Clinton was interrupted for applause 29 times. In a week that was, thus far, themeless and tepid, intent on justifying itself and the familiarity of its speakers, Clinton’s speech was the first that made the Pepsi Center feel like the site of a convention rather than the host of a series of panels.

Clinton’s message was simple: Her candidacy was about something, not someone. She is a Democrat, not a Hillaryite. And if her supporters believed in her, then that’s what they were signing up for: An effort to expand health care, and weight economic policy towards the middle class, and refashion American foreign policy into something sane and recognizable. The candidate left in the race with a similar set of beliefs is Barack Obama.

Even if she did it reluctantly, Senator Clinton did her part in Denver.  That some Clinton supporters are still angered by the sexism directed against their candidate during the campaign is certainly understandable.   Everyone should be angry about that.  But all of the clichés and catchphrases - “the stakes are too high,” “we can’t afford a third Bush term,” etc. - are all too true.  So, fellow Democrats, we all know what we need to do - it is time to unite behind the Obama-Biden ticket. And bring your independent and Republican friends with you.

All aboard!

The shotgun-style charges Democratic National Convention speakers fired at Republican John McCain Tuesday night weren’t necessarily half-truths. But in some instances, they weren’t the whole story either.

Some examples of who said what and what they left out:

SEN. ROBERT CASEY JR. of PENNSYLVANIA: “John McCain calls himself a maverick, but he votes with George Bush 90 percent of the time. That’s not a maverick. That’s a sidekick.”

PENNSYLVANIA GOV. ED RENDELL: “And guess who voted with President Bush 90 percent of the time? Sen. John McCain.”

THE FACTS: McCain voted with President Bush 90 percent of the time from January 20, 2001, to when Congress left Washington on its annual August recess, according to a study by Congressional Quarterly. But McCain wasn’t always a staunch Bush backer. In 2005, his support for Bush’s position on legislation reached a low of 77 percent; last year, when he launched his latest bid for the GOP presidential nomination, he voted with Bush 95 percent of the time.

So let’s get this straight. Looking at the total votes cast by John McCain since George Bush took office in 2001, he has — on average — voted with the president 90 percent of the time. But WAIT! If you only look at 2005, these statements aren’t true — Casey and Rendell are LIARS! Sorry, but those are THE FACTS.

I don’t want to get all Orwell on this, but what the hell does it mean when you say that these “shotgun-style” charges “weren’t necessarily half-truths” but “in some instances, they weren’t the whole story either”?

I spent about 15 agonizing minutes dividing “not the whole story” by a “not necessarily half-truth” to determine the percentage. I still don’t know.

I hate you Darlene.

h/t TPM

This week the Democratic party will attempt to hold its first convention that is totally green. They will talk about recycling, buying carbon offsets, and even serve multi-colored foods for some reason.

What’s the problem with their going green? Well, the Democrats know all of these things are pointless gestures, but they’re using them to try and convince voters that they love the earth more than Republicans. If this works they will put into place policies that will hurt our economy and cause real disaster–not the fraudulent type they constantly whine about.

What can you to help? Take part in our carbon ONset program. We are asking you to make just a few small sacrifices to completely wipe out any potential energy savings the Democrats claim credit for.

The “sacrifices” include driving extra miles, running empty dishwashers, taking long showers, and replacing CFL bulbs with incandescent ones.

A sprinkler system partially flooded part of the Pepsi Center Monday morning.
The Denver Fire Department, which has a crew stationed at the center all week, was able to respond quickly before 5 a.m. when the sprinkler went off.

The sprinkler was located on the club level in a skybox which had recently been renovated to host a news crew. It appears the skybox belongs to Fox.

After going off, the sprinkler released 50 to 100 gallons of water per minute and 9NEWS crews estimate it was on for around 5 minutes.

The cause of the sprinkler is under investigation but early reports indicate it was likely bumped or the heat sensor may have been affected by equipment in the room.

Water leaked down to the first level concourse and crews are mopping up that area. A significant amount of water filled the club level and DFD used shop vacuums to remove the excess water.

All of the equipment in the skybox had to be removed quickly due to the possible electrical issues. No one was injured.

“We’re delighted to have a real estate debate with Barack Obama,” said spokesman Brian Rogers, adding that the press should focus on Obama’s house. “It’s a frickin’ mansion.”

–McCain spokesman Brian Rogers

Incidentally, Cindy McCain needs to be on Boniva™  STAT!

UPDATE:

Jesus. Mary. And Joseph. The McCain campaign is using the arugula-egghead-POW defense. McCain camp spokesman Brian Rogers on domicile-gate:

“This is a guy who lived in one house for five and a half years — in prison,” referring to the prisoner of war camp that McCain was in during the Vietnam War.

Rogers called the house story “by far the most personal attack” of the campaign, and said “it comes from a candidate who said he was against this kind of thing.”

He predicted that the story would not “stick” with the American people.

“In terms of who’s an elitist, I think people have made a judgment that John McCain is not an arugula-eating, pointy headed professor-type based on his life story.”

Max Bergmann explains why Oily McWar is the real risk:

The big concern with a McCain presidency – a concern which I am surprised has not been vocalized more fully – is that the U.S. will lurch from crisis to crisis, confrontation to confrontation, whether it be with Iran, North Korea, Russia, Syria, Saudi Arabia, etc. The danger is that McCain’s pundit-like rhetoric will entrap the U.S. in descending spiral of foreign policy brinksmanship. Just think about the very likely scenario of McCain giving Iran/Russia a rhetorical ultimatum and Iran/Russia ignoring it. Now we are stuck - either we lose face by not following through on our threats or we follow through and go to war. We can’t afford such a reckless approach after the last eight years. For the next eight we need a president not a pundit.

Speaking as a white guy (seriously - I’m mad white), I think it is time for “white voters” to grow up and realize that the best candidate for president isn’t just the guy who seems the most militaristic. Or the whitest.

“Russia is a state that is unfortunately using the one tool that it has always used whenever it wishes to deliver a message and that’s its military power,” [Condi] Rice told reporters en route to an emergency meeting of NATO foreign ministers set for Tuesday. “That’s not the way to deal in the 21st century.”

It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s memory of war from the comfort of mom’s basement, but most Americans have the humility and gratitude to respect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf of others.

The McCain Report

Wargaming nerds in black, tight fitting t-shirts take that!   Don’t hate Obama because his Charisma score makes him a more powerful orc slayer than you.  You can forget my vote in November Mr. McCain.  Oh, and mom, can you bring down some more lemonade–make that hateorade– for me and the boys?

Well, I just took another sip of hateorade.

This time, it is the ridiculous hypocrisy of Oily McWar’s August 18th VFW speech that is so grating:

Addressing the national convention of the Veterans of Foreign Wars this morning in Orlando, John McCain came down harshly on rival Barack Obama for on his position and opinion on the Iraq war.

So what’s new?

This: McCain takes a new tack in tying Obama’s positions on the war to his personal desire to be president. “Behind all of these claims and positions by Senator Obama lies the ambition to be president.” (bold type added)

Hm.

In his memoir Worth the Fighting For (which is an awkward title, no?), McWar explained his own run for president in 2000 this way:

“I didn’t decide to run for president to start a national crusade for the political reforms I believed in or to run a campaign as if it were some grand act of patriotism. In truth, I wanted to be president because it had become my ambition to be president. . . . In truth, I’d had the ambition for a long time.” (bold type added)

These anti-McCain blog posts just write themselves! I think that unless ol’ Oily takes a vow of silence, and soon, he might just talk his way into second place in the election. If anyone pays attention, that is.

The tiny Harrold, Texas, school district will allow teachers and staff members to carry concealed firearms when they return to class this month.

The superintendent said they’re a 30-minute drive from the Wilbarger County Sheriff’s Office, leaving students and teachers without protection. He told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “When the federal government started making schools gun-free zones, that’s when all of these shootings started.“

No word yet on whether the post hoc ergo prompter hoc after school program will be eliminated from the school budget.

It’s like those real estate shows on HGTV where an anonymous real estate maven tells a pair of nervous homeowners that “the buyer” wants an open floor plan, or granite counter tops, or stainless appliances, or a neutral color for the bedroom walls. Who is “the buyer”? Not me. My bedroom wall has a mural depicting the life of Red Auerbach. Suck on that, buyers.

Pundits who parrot such an essentializing discourse perform a grave disservice to our national conversation on important — even critical — issues as they utterly misrepresent the true nature and variety of opinion in favor of a reductive shorthand. But since that is easier than doing research or conducting surveys — you know, reporting — we can be certain that “the reporters” will pretty much stink it up forever.

Hey, here’s a good example I found today on the website Open Secrets. Turns out one of the best-kept secrets of the 2008 election is that “the military” isn’t really giving a lot of their hard-earned, tax-free, wartime dollars to the presumptive Republican presidential nominee — even though everyone knows that “the military” supports the conservative candidate automatically. In fact, as it turns out, “the military” seems to be giving more money to the Democratic nominee for president this time around. A lot more:

According to an analysis of campaign contributions by the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, Democrat Barack Obama has received nearly six times as much money from troops deployed overseas at the time of their contributions than has Republican John McCain [. . .]

And significantly, this isn’t only the case with the military personnel who’ve been getting shot at and blown up in war zones:

Despite McCain’s status as a decorated veteran and a historically Republican bent among the military, members of the armed services overall — whether stationed overseas or at home — are also favoring Obama with their campaign contributions in 2008, by a $55,000 margin. Although 59 percent of federal contributions by military personnel has gone to Republicans this cycle, of money from the military to the presumed presidential nominees, 57 percent has gone to Obama.

Seems to me that this should be a pretty big story. Or at least make it to the news ticker at the bottom of my screen. Nope, Man Catches Fish.

I wonder what’s on “My House is Worth WHAT??”