Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Palin the Populist

By: Uncle Dell
Published: September 16th, 2008

Self-proclaimed “hockey mom” Sarah Palin had a private tanning bed installed in the Governor’s Mansion in Juneau, Alaska, Usmagazine.com confirmed on Monday.

“She did. She paid for it with her own money,” Roger Wetherell, chief communications officer of Alaska’s Department of Transportation and Public Facilities told Us.

The Narco News Bulletin first reported on the former beauty queen’s penchant for a bronzed body.

“It was done shortly after she took office [in early 2007] and moved into the mansion,” Wetherell told the Narco News.

According to Wetherell, the tanning bed was purchased used, from a health club.

Tanning beds can cost up to $35,000 to install in a home - not including the cost of parts, Color Me Tan manager Erin Weise told the Narco News.

“I don’t think it’s normal for people to have a tanning bed in their house, ” Wiese, who is based in Fairbanks said. “It’s expensive.”

US Magazine (Yeah, I linked to US, bring it on latte sippin’ elitist haters)

Talk about a waste of $35,000! Everybody’s knows that Alaska gets 20+ hours of sunlight during the summer. That’s enough for the whole year. But that tan does feel oh-so-good after a tough day of crushing your enemies and installing high school classmates in state administration.

And most importantly, this is the kind of thing that all good small town Americans can appreciate because they too believe in the god-given right to look like you’ve been on a vacation when you really can’t afford one.

Why John Stewart Should be Given Some Sort of Nobel Prize or Something

By: JimLarkinsGhost
Published: September 12th, 2008

Just watch. And listen.

Wow.

The 137-Year-Old Insomnia Cure

By: JimLarkinsGhost
Published: August 11th, 2008

I don’t think it’s going to happen. But I really hope that Oily McWar (71) picks Joe Lieberman (66) as his running mate.

Because they would so lose.

Stephanie Kirchgaessner reports in the Financial Times that Lieberman is being vetted, and that Oily digs him:

Joe Lieberman, the former Democratic vice-presidential nominee who has endorsed John McCain, is being vetted as a potential running mate for the Republican presidential hopeful, according to an adviser to Mr McCain’s ­campaign.

Mr Lieberman, who has campaigned for the Arizona senator, has long been ­considered an unconventional but plausible choice for Mr McCain.

Although Democrats have rejected Mr McCain’s image as a maverick politician, Mr Lieberman’s support for the presumptive Republican nominee has, much to the chagrin of his former ­colleagues, helped to boost Mr McCain’s reputation as a bi-partisan legislator with friends on both sides of the aisle. Mr Lieberman, a staunch supporter of Israel, could also help Mr McCain win over Jewish voters.

“[McCain] loves Lieberman. And he is on the [short-]list because Lieberman has never embarrassed anyone, never misspoken. The first rule is, don’t take someone who costs you votes,” said one McCain adviser.

I think it is a lovely idea. Lieberman would do nothing to help McCain shore up or energize the base. Lieberman would also attract very few crossover votes from Democrats (Democrats think he’s a dick).

But most of all, those two old war-mongering farts farting around the country might even be less exciting and inspiring than Dole-Kemp ‘96 (admit it - you almost forgot about that ticket already, didn’t you? Exactly).

In short, a McCain-Lieberman ticket would be rather short on Joementum.

In fact, a McCain-Lieberman ticket would almost certia…n…ly… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Oh - sorry.

McCain Campaign: Obama is Britney and/or Paris

By: JimLarkinsGhost
Published: July 30th, 2008

It is only a matter of time before Barack Obama is seen driving with a baby on his lap, or releases a home-made sex tape. And, just like Britney and Paris, Obama wants to raise your taxes!

He’s John McCain, and he approved that message.

Six of One, a Half Dozen of…

By: JimLarkinsGhost
Published: July 15th, 2008

If he was ever on it, Governor Sanford may have just stumbled his way right off the Republican veep shortlist:

Ooops.

Well, with Mark Sanford looking like a bit of a confused tosser, perhaps the McCain campaign should opt for the best available remaining Sanford:

Grady, Aunt Esther, and Lamont were unavailable for comment.

White House: Berlusconi an “amateur” who is “hated by many”

By: Uncle Dell
Published: July 10th, 2008

The Italian left Bush Administration pulled no punches during the recent G8 conference on climate change, setting the record straight once and for all on the record of Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi (born 1936) is one of the most controversial leaders in the history of a country known for governmental corruption and vice. Primarily a businessman with massive holdings and influence in international media, he is regarded by many as a political dilettante who gained his high office only through use of his considerable influence on the national media.

Encyclopedia of World Biography

Oops!  Picture the scenario.  Intern X is charged with circulating a short biography of G8 leaders for a White House press release.  Like any other red blooded 21st century American scholar, she hops online and nabs the first thing that looks authoritative, cuts and pastes, and voilà, the job is done.

Hated by many but respected by all at least for his bella figura (personal style) and the sheer force of his will, Berlusconi has parlayed his business acumen and influence into a personal empire that has resulted in Italy’s longestrunning government ever and in his becoming the country’s wealthiest man. Bursting onto the scene with no political experience in 1993, he campaignedusing his vast network of media holdingson a promise to purge the notoriously lackadaisical Italian government of corruption. He won appointment to the office of prime minister in 1994. However, he and his fellow Forza Italia Party leaders soon found themselves accused of the very corruption he had vowed to eradicate.

This is an extremely sloppy mistake for an administration that has been so disciplined in distributing its version of reality.  Did someone at the White House forget that Berlusconi and Bush are good personal friends that go way back?  Ah, who can forget the good times they had together after September 11, 2001?  But why, oh why do they always leave the best parts out?

He released a CD in 2003 of Neopolitan love songs. The prime minister prefers to spend his spare time at his 70room villa in Sardinia named “Arcore,” whose amenities include a private park, a movie theater, and walls of largescreen televisions.

Bush is just jealous I guess.

Call me old fashioned, but it might be a good policy to actually write the things published under the guise of official government communications.  It’s easier to stay on message that way and cuts down on the written apologies, not that it’s necessary to apologize for speaking the truth every now and then.

Welcome to the Surveillance State

Published: July 9th, 2008

Today the FISA bill passed and every meaningful amendment designed to protect our civil liberties was defeated.

A Democratically-controlled Congress just aided in the cover-up of at least 30 federal crimes committed by George Bush and Dick Cheney.

As an added bonus, we no longer have a meaningful 4th Amendment to the Constitution or any protection against government intrusion into our “private” communications:

UPDATE:

The ACLU and the Electronic Frontier Foundation vow to challenge the FISA bill on the basis that it is an unconstitutional violation of the 4th Amendment and that it further usurps the Judicial branch of government.

Good luck.

News from the Gelding Congress

Published: July 9th, 2008

Need some proof of just how thoroughly the Legislative branch has been emasculated? Read no further:

From the AP:

WASHINGTON—The next time the president goes to war, Congress should be consulted and vote on whether it agrees, according to a bipartisan study group chaired by former secretaries of state James Baker III and Warren Christopher.

Is it just me, or has nobody in Congress read the Constitution?

Article One, Section 8:

The Congress shall have power to . . .

To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water;

To raise and support armies, but no appropriation of money to that use shall be for a longer term than two years;

To provide and maintain a navy;

To make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces;

To provide for calling forth the militia to execute the laws of the union, suppress insurrections and repel invasions;

To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the militia, and for governing such part of them as may be employed in the service of the United States, reserving to the states respectively, the appointment of the officers, and the authority of training the militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

You Got a Purty Mouth

Published: July 8th, 2008

From the AP:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark.—Crowds in Arkansas came for the lure of cage fighting and $1 beer, but police say what they got instead was men ripping each others’ clothes off and kissing — a stunt suspected of being orchestrated by Sacha Baron Cohen of “Borat” fame.

Fratboy In Chief

Published: July 6th, 2008

It seems that George Bush has had a taste for torture for quite some time. In 1967, the New York Times reported the following story about the DKE fraternity at Yale:

NEW HAVEN, Nov. 7–A Yale fraternity accused by the student newspaper of burning its initiates with a brand will have its fate decided Friday by student fraternity leaders.

The fraternity, Delta Kappa Epsilon, could face the temporary closure of its house and a $1,000 fine resulting from alleged violations of rules previously passed by the Inter-Fraternity Council, which consists of Yale’s five fraternity presidents.

The charges against Delta Kappa Epsilon were made last Friday in a Yale Daily News article that accused campus fraternities of carrying on “sadistic and obscene” initiation procedures.

The charge that has caused the most controversy on the Yale campus is that Delta Kappa Epsilon applied a “hot branding iron” to the small of the back of its 40 new members in ceremonies two weeks ago. A photograph showing a scab in the shape of the Greek letter Delta, approximately a half inch wide, appeared with the article.

A former president of Delta said that the branding is done with a hot coathanger. But the former president, George Bush, a Yale senior, said that the resulting wound is “only a cigarette burn.”

Only a few steps from here and you’re telling the American people that “we don’t torture” and that the grievous crimes of Gitmo are just “hazing pranks from some fraternity.”

Maybe someone should have gotten little George some help.

Energy and The Next President

Published: July 6th, 2008

Robert Kennedy hit one out of the park today.

Don’t Know Much About History

Published: July 5th, 2008

NY Times:

Citing their free speech rights, three tour guides in Philadelphia filed a lawsuit this week challenging an ordinance that will require them to pass a history test and get a license. Mayor Michael Nutter signed the measure into law in April amid concern that some guides were perpetuating gross inaccuracies, including the false claims that Benjamin Franklin had 69 illegitimate children and that Betsy Ross, a three-time widow, killed her husbands. But the three guides, Ann Boulais, Michael Tait and Josh Silver, backed by a public-interest law firm, argue that the city has gone too far. The tests will be required beginning in October.

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