I wanted to look into what mortality statistics would indicate about John McCain’s ability to survive for two terms as president.
So I had our crack team in the IHWYJS Actuary Science Division (ASD) run some stochastic models for me. The answer is surprising.
According to our data, a man at 72 years of age has a 0.032978 chance of dying within one year and a life expectancy of 12.01 years.
New bumper sticker idea:
The AP’s supergenius, Darlene Superville, decided to do us all the public service of “fact-checking” some of the speeches at last night’s Democratic convention:
The shotgun-style charges Democratic National Convention speakers fired at Republican John McCain Tuesday night weren’t necessarily half-truths. But in some instances, they weren’t the whole story either.
Some examples of who said what and what they left out:
SEN. ROBERT CASEY JR. of PENNSYLVANIA: “John McCain calls himself a maverick, but he votes with George Bush 90 percent of the time. That’s not a maverick. That’s a sidekick.”
PENNSYLVANIA GOV. ED RENDELL: “And guess who voted with President Bush 90 percent of the time? Sen. John McCain.”
THE FACTS: McCain voted with President Bush 90 percent of the time from January 20, 2001, to when Congress left Washington on its annual August recess, according to a study by Congressional Quarterly. But McCain wasn’t always a staunch Bush backer. In 2005, his support for Bush’s position on legislation reached a low of 77 percent; last year, when he launched his latest bid for the GOP presidential nomination, he voted with Bush 95 percent of the time.
So let’s get this straight. Looking at the total votes cast by John McCain since George Bush took office in 2001, he has — on average — voted with the president 90 percent of the time. But WAIT! If you only look at 2005, these statements aren’t true — Casey and Rendell are LIARS! Sorry, but those are THE FACTS.
I don’t want to get all Orwell on this, but what the hell does it mean when you say that these “shotgun-style” charges “weren’t necessarily half-truths” but “in some instances, they weren’t the whole story either”?
I spent about 15 agonizing minutes dividing “not the whole story” by a “not necessarily half-truth” to determine the percentage. I still don’t know.
I hate you Darlene.
h/t TPM
Why does this idiot have his own show? Glenn Beck needs your help to screw the Democrats, even if it destroys the planet in the process:
This week the Democratic party will attempt to hold its first convention that is totally green. They will talk about recycling, buying carbon offsets, and even serve multi-colored foods for some reason.
What’s the problem with their going green? Well, the Democrats know all of these things are pointless gestures, but they’re using them to try and convince voters that they love the earth more than Republicans. If this works they will put into place policies that will hurt our economy and cause real disaster–not the fraudulent type they constantly whine about.
What can you to help? Take part in our carbon ONset program. We are asking you to make just a few small sacrifices to completely wipe out any potential energy savings the Democrats claim credit for.
The “sacrifices” include driving extra miles, running empty dishwashers, taking long showers, and replacing CFL bulbs with incandescent ones.
Fox News getting a warm wet reception at the Democratic convention:
A sprinkler system partially flooded part of the Pepsi Center Monday morning.
The Denver Fire Department, which has a crew stationed at the center all week, was able to respond quickly before 5 a.m. when the sprinkler went off.The sprinkler was located on the club level in a skybox which had recently been renovated to host a news crew. It appears the skybox belongs to Fox.
After going off, the sprinkler released 50 to 100 gallons of water per minute and 9NEWS crews estimate it was on for around 5 minutes.
The cause of the sprinkler is under investigation but early reports indicate it was likely bumped or the heat sensor may have been affected by equipment in the room.
Water leaked down to the first level concourse and crews are mopping up that area. A significant amount of water filled the club level and DFD used shop vacuums to remove the excess water.
All of the equipment in the skybox had to be removed quickly due to the possible electrical issues. No one was injured.
“We’re delighted to have a real estate debate with Barack Obama,” said spokesman Brian Rogers, adding that the press should focus on Obama’s house. “It’s a frickin’ mansion.”
–McCain spokesman Brian Rogers
I’m assuming there will be a drastic reduction in the number of “Obama is an elitist” statements in the coming days — John McCain can’t remember how many homes he owns.
Incidentally, Cindy McCain needs to be on Boniva™ STAT!
UPDATE:
Jesus. Mary. And Joseph. The McCain campaign is using the arugula-egghead-POW defense. McCain camp spokesman Brian Rogers on domicile-gate:
“This is a guy who lived in one house for five and a half years — in prison,” referring to the prisoner of war camp that McCain was in during the Vietnam War.
Rogers called the house story “by far the most personal attack” of the campaign, and said “it comes from a candidate who said he was against this kind of thing.”
He predicted that the story would not “stick” with the American people.
“In terms of who’s an elitist, I think people have made a judgment that John McCain is not an arugula-eating, pointy headed professor-type based on his life story.”
This is curious. And so is this. Perhaps the most interesting of all.
