We all know that marriage between one man and one woman is the keystone that balances the grand arch of civilization. Were we ever to remove it, the entire edifice would crash down upon us, destroying all we know. Just imagine it. In the false twilight of dust and choking ash, ghostlike figures layered in white powder have man-on-dog sex among the smoldering rubble and twisted rebar.
Chilling.
Thank God for proud Americans like Nevada Senator, John Ensign, who has spent his entire career in the Senate defending the citadel of marriage against the barbarian hordes of sodomites and lesbians locked outside the city walls.
Oh wait.
He just screwed some other guy’s wife.
UPDATE:
Thanks to Buffy in the comments who found this perfect video:
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This is what I sent to someone who told me I should read my Bible, when I posted about urging Gov. Douglas (VT) not to Veto same sex marriage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw