Scott Roeder, the Christian religious extremist who killed an abortion provider in Kansas City told reporters that “many other similar events [are] planned around the country.” Today, an 88 year-old man shot up the Holocaust museum in our nation’s capital.
We need to find out if these two incidents are connected. Were these men working together? Is there a network of angry white terrorists lurking in our cities, planning to kill other Jews and physicians?
Clearly, there is only one way to discover this critical information before any more attacks occur: enhanced interrogation.
Building rapport with prunes isn’t going to work, goddamnit — I want to see that 90-year old man strung up from the rafters and deluged with freezing cold water until he tells us where the other geriatric terrorists are hiding and what their next objective is. Roeder needs the waterboard. And find out if he’s afraid of any bugs, menstrual blood, dogs, tight spaces, or deafening levels of gangsta rap.
And it’s time for the good, law-abiding folk to arm ourselves in our museums — along with our national parks, churches, schools, and bars.