“You can’t put them in prison unless you release them”
–Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid
This dramatization is from the actual transcript of Harry Reid’s press conference where he explained why the funding the president requested to shut down Guantanamo Bay was stripped from a recent appropriations bill:
This set a new record in the Olympics of Stupid. I wasn’t aware that there is a law on the books dictating that every terrorist must be “released” into the general population before they are incarcerated. Seems kinda dumb.
And how pathetic is it that the only thing that Republicans and Democrats can agree on right now is that terrorist supervillains are so diabolical and powerful that they can somehow miraculously escape from federal super-max prisons and then form an all-Arab dream team of mayhem that will ravage our country from coast to coast, sowing death and dismemberment, leaving behind a landscape pockmarked by radioactive craters and millions of zombified converts to Islam. Run for your motherf*king lives!
It’s not as if we haven’t successfully dealt with people such as this before. We used the US court system to try, convict, and sentence terrorists like Omar Abdel-Rahman, Wadih el-Hage, Mahmud Abouhalima, and Ramzi Yousef. They currently enjoy the hospitality of the federal super-max prison in Florence, Colorado. More recently, the prison is home to al-Qaeda operatives Zacarias Moussaoui and Jose Padilla. In that same prison we house domestic terrorists Theodore Kaczynski, Terry Nichols, Timothy McVeigh (until he was executed), and Eric Robert Rudolph.
Here’s a description of their lovely facility:
ADX Florence generally houses around 430 male prisoners, each assigned to one of six security levels. ADX Florence was designed jointly by DLR Group and LKA Partners of Colorado Springs.
About 22% of inmates have killed fellow prisoners in other correctional facilities; 35% have attempted to attack other prisoners or officers. As a result, most individuals are kept for at least 23 hours each day in solitary confinement. They are housed in a 7 ft (2.1 m) by 12 ft (3.7 m) room, built behind a steel door and grate. Their free hour is spent exercising alone in a separate concrete chamber. Prisoners seldom see one another, and the inmates’ only direct human interaction is with correctional officers or other prison staff. Visiting from outside the prison is conducted through glass, with each prisoner in a separate chamber. Religious services are broadcast from a small chapel. [. . .]
Most cells’ furniture is made almost entirely out of poured concrete, including the desk, stool, and bed. Each chamber contains a toilet that shuts off if plugged, a shower that runs on a timer to prevent flooding, and a sink missing a potentially dangerous tap. Rooms may also be fitted with polished steel mirrors bolted to the wall, an electric light, a radio, and a television set that shows recreational, educational and religious programming. These privileges can be taken away as punishment. The 4 in (10 cm) by 4 ft (1.2 m) windows are designed to prevent the prisoner from knowing his specific location within the complex because he can see only the sky and roof through them. Telecommunication with the outside world is forbidden, and food is hand-delivered by correctional officers.
The prison as a whole contains a multitude of motion detectors and cameras, 1,400 remote-controlled steel doors, and 12 ft (3.66 m) high razor wire fences. Laser beams, pressure pads, and attack dogs guard the area between the prison walls and razor wire.
The only thing missing at this particular prison is “frikkin’ sharks with frikkin’ laser beams attached to their frikkin’ heads.” What else do you need to feel safe?
No surprise here, nobody has ever escaped from ADX Florence. And as an added bonus, everyone incarcerated there received a fair trial in a legitimate court with real defense lawyers.
I’m still waiting for the grown-ups to get elected to Congress….
{ 1 trackback }